Jillian
Jenna
For those of you who have been following the blog you may remember that we are utilizing the Babywise program (as opposed to on demand feeding or another routine). It is an eat/wake/sleep method designed to help babies organize their sleep patterns thus making the transition to sleep through the night an easier one, for both parents and baby. It has been great with keeping the girls on the schedule the NICU had them on which means the girls are USUALLY not too fussy, especially between feedings.
One of the methods used in Babywise is CIO or Crying it Out. The book is a big advocate of babies being able to self soothe and not needing sleep props to help them fall asleep at naps and bedtime. Sleep props are anything from swings to mom rocking the baby. I have found that it has been kind of hard for us to implement CIO for several reasons:
1. The girls have to stay upright for half an hour after they eat. During the day they sit in their pink Boppy Seats which are cushy and have a vibration...which in effect lull them to sleep. At night, Jared and I each have a baby so we hold and pat them for about half an hour after they finish eating their last bottle.
2. The girls have Acid Reflux. Prolonged crying irritates the acid reflux which then agitates them further. So the harder they cry the more agitated the reflux becomes.
3. I am a huge weenie. There is something about a baby crying that makes me want to run and soothe her. Babies are born with the instinct to cry when they are unhappy, hungry, tired, hurting, cold, wet, etc. I think Moms are born with the instinct to quiet the cry. I physically can't just leave them to cry for half an hour, hour or more.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't go in and grab the babies up every time they start to cry. I try and offer a Shh noise or their pacifier or a pat on the tummy for a minute; but, after about 25-30 minutes of crying and misc soothing tactics I find myself picking them up. Especially at night when I am sleepy. :)
Does that make me a bad mom? I don't think so...take for example this morning. Both girls were in their swings wide awake while I was eating breakfast. Jenna fell asleep in her swing but Jillian was wide awake. It was about 7:30 and I knew they needed to go down for a nap so I put Jillian in her bed wide awake. Jenna woke up when I put her in her bed. So, I had to wide awake babies in their cribs, but they didn't make a peep. They sat in there quietly for about 10 minutes and finally feel asleep without so much as a peep.
Not that it happens all the time that way....I wish though!! Yesterday they fought me on every single nap, which is why I bring up the CIO at all. I guess every mother second guesses herself when she can't seem to get her babies in a content state for most of the day.
Does anyone remember when their babies started to be more happy and less fussy? I think my babies are bipolar. :) One minute they are smiling and the next they are crying like they were pinched (they weren't, I promise!). Did your baby(s) get happy from 6 wks- 3mos, 3-6 mos, 6-9 mos, 9 mos +? I would be curious to know...feel free to share in the comments section!
More To Come,
Jessie
if it makes you feel any better about the CIO method, I STILL rock my baby to sleep for naps and bed time and he will be TWO on Saturday! Sometimes I really wish that I had never started that, but most of the time I enjoy it. He will only want me to do this for so long so I am trying to enjoy every minute I can with him....I do not think that you are a bad mother at all...Infact, I commend you for doing so great with TWO BABIES!!
ReplyDeleteMy sons are 35 and 30 years old. Both are contributing citizens and very, very nice people. And, I never let either one cry as babies. As tiny infants I rocked them. As toddlers and children we cuddled at bedtime and read stories. Both boys remember the story time fondly. I know it doesn't feel like it now sometimes, but babies do turn into children and then into teens and pretty soon they grow up and have families of their own. I'm not complaining because that's the goal all along. I'm just suggesting the snuggles, the rocking, the positive interaction are all blessings both for the children and for the parents.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest has three boys & they are read to each night now. Pleasant way to feel support and to quiet down for the evening of rest. Your little ones may not want story time now, but rocking is a grand substitute.
The youngest of my boys had reflux as your beautiful babies do except 30 years ago doctors were guessing what worked and what didn't. I also experimented. I found the 45 degree angle after eating helped him keep his bottles down. A happy, non crying baby also aided. My son continued to add weight and that's what I was trying for...I figured any behavior on my part which kept the nourishment in the tummy was more than worth the effort.
As far as 'happy', my oldest son weighed almost 10 pounds at birth & slept all night long at the end of the first week....I know that doesn't seem very fair to you right now..He was pretty much content from the beginning as long as he wasn't hungry.
My youngest didn't have the same 'easy' sleep patterns, but I blame that mostly on the reflux. He was a much smaller baby weight wise, and with the upset tummy from the reflux sleeping all night was long time coming. (Doctors had me feed him more often & less amounts hoping it would help with his digestion. That meant waking him up at night to feed for months.) He did enjoy being held from the very beginning. He loved looking at people & was so happy watching his brother.
Okay - lots of unasked for information here...I'm saying involved parents - which both you and Jared are- know their babies. The methods that works for your children and for you is maybe better than a method in a book...
Judy
Kayla had colic for a while, so Im right there with ya. I could never let her cry long. It's instinct, you're right.
ReplyDeletePeggy
It is a motherly instinct to not want your baby to be upset. Kyle is almost 2 and he is still "rocked" every night. We have a routine and that works for him. My opinion is that they are only young once and your girls are still so young that habits can be easily weened and broken. There is nothing wrong with rocking to sleep or giving a pacifier. Kyle was rocked to sleep every night since he was born and now he rocks for a few minutes every night and tells me when he is ready to go to sleep and he falls alseep in his bed. I think rocking and snuggling them not only lets them know they are loved and protected, it lets us as moms know we are loved and protected as well!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as your question as to when they out grow the "bipolar-ness", I think once they graduate college!! Just kidding. Since babies have one way of expressing themselves (crying/fussiness) then they will be fussy one minute and happy the next. Kyle is still that way. He'll be 2 in July and he still has his "happy one second - screaming Irish temper fits the next" moments. I promise that gets better as they learn to communicate better. Once they get a little older you should teach them sign language. I have been signing to Kyle since he was born and that helps cut down on some of his temper fits. He would sign "more" to let me know he wanted more of something before he could talk. He still uses his sign language and words since he is learning new words everyday. Just hang in there and it will all get better. Remember, you are a new mom and it takes time to fall into a new routine (although once you get use to one routine it will change and you have to get use to another routine!!) So with all that I say "Welcome to motherhood!!" You are Jared are doing a wonderful job loving those girls!!
Jessica
ReplyDeleteIt sound's as if you have gotten some wonderful advise here from many different folks who have little ones now and have grown children. All I can say is everyday is different adventure and every child is different. What works today won't necessarily work tomorrow. Just enjoy each day with it's good and bad and I never let you cry long and you are a beautiful, well adjusted young women and I did rock you to sleep many of nights! Enjoy the here and now.
Love, Mom
We used sleep props on you, Jessica. We had a swing that clicked as it swung you back and forth. You loved it and as long as you were swinging, you'd snooze. Once it stopped, you'd wake up and cry. Sometimes, I'd let you cry for a bit, sometimes I'd wind it back up, sometimes I'd pick you up and hold you. You were fussy off and on until around 9 months and then you were sleeping all night. Even during the fussy times you were a special baby. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you were first born, we picked you up right away when you cried at night because of our crabby neighbors who complained. We lived in an "Adults Only" apartment complex. We were forced to leave when you were three months old. That practice of discriminating against families is now outlawed, but it turned us into trailer trash. And you still turned out OK. :) Much better than OK
and I'm so very proud of you.